Believe

I might seem like unbelievably strong from the outside (some said), but behind closed door, my weak side comes out. Exhaustion strike, physically and mentally. Too big, too many voices, the struggle of realisation of the truth. The confusion I am experiencing is a totally normal part of the deliberation process. I seek the path of calmness and peacefulness; and learn every moment. It actually helps me to manage more effectively.

I also let the anger-monger in me out by finding a release mechanism. If I don’t express it, there’s a risk of winding up numb, and having the feelings surface in different ways such as fatigue and dumbness. It often happens. An old-fashioned way might work; punching my pillow and cry under it afterwards. On the other hand, the pillow will also become even softer. Nice, a multipurpose pillow.

I learnt to get myself worked up about acceptance, furious or frustration though I may be humbled or insulted, but once I accept it, I begin to experience appreciation, the key to strengthening myself. The attitude of optimism operates from a position of strength, confidence and possibilities. And that is how I stand so strongly to ease the exhaustion.

I believe in “Susah susah sekarang, senang senang kemudian” and whatever goes around, comes around. While there are different dimensions and perceptions to a person’s mind, it is still me and it helps me to survive.

Believe.