Asthmatic

Are you aware that I am asthmatic? I bet you don't as I thought the odds of recurring are grim too. I had almost forgotten about it since the last attack more than 20 over years ago when I was still a child. I could bearly remember, neither do my mum. The news of my asthma recurred again October last year resulting an admission for few days in Sunway Medical Centre shocked my whole family. Doctor diagnosed due to extreme exhaustion, lethargic. The experience was greatly outraging plus the smell of the hospital, the nurses who came every hourly, the medicine, the oxygen, oh gosh. But I was lucky enough for not being directed to a psychologist. Not necessary yet. *Wink*

I find myself 'blowing whistle' while sleeping now and then, breathing heavily like having a 10kg stone on my chest especially at night hour. I struggle and constantly need to remind myself to catch each breath slowly and deeply. Second time when I was hospitalized again in July this year, after having a blow over something traumatic and stupid. It jotted me back to the reality, I was disappointed. The truth and the anxiety are beyond my expectation, my control. God knows better. So why sulk over it? The severity is less favoured to me. I couldn't stress myself too much even until today. Each passing moment is so intense because I am so afraid of being attacked again.

Do not worry my friends, I am doing good now and I will be better tomorrow!